The Gift

In my opinion, motherhood is a miracle. Isn’t it a miracle that your body can create another living being just like you?? That breaths, eats and grows. That’s a gift. As a biology student, I consider it is a miracle. Maybe that’s the reason why mothers, are considered next to god in history, because we can create a whole new living being. That’s the reason God made women stronger because she has to raise this living being. Women were made good at multi-tasking because she can take care of the baby as well as other ‘things to do’. Women were made emotional because she had to nurture the newborn and inculcate social awareness in the newborn. Women were detail-oriented so that she can use her skills to take good care of the needs of the newborn. Women were made to grow stronger so that she can teach the newborn what’s right and wrong. Women were made to be responsible because one has to put their needs aside to fulfil the needs of the newborn.

I’m NOT a strong offender of motherhood. But in India, motherhood is a compulsion. And most of the girls fall for that. In my personal experience, I fell for my first marriage under the same social pressure of -good marriage proposal, they will let me continue my further study etc. But then I realized that ‘the social beings’ don’t tell us the whole truth. They sound so convincing that marriage is an easy thing and everybody is doing it. But the other side is that, marriage is hard, even if its with the right person. It’s a lot of work, responsibility and adjustments on both sides. And I highly recommend, if it was possible and, in my hands… I would have passed a law for all women out there, to be financially stable before marriage. Not to show others that you can do it, but for yourself not be dependent on anyone. Because if you are independent, you are capable of taking your own responsibility. And if you are capable of taking your own responsibility, then you are ready to take others responsibility.

It’s the same case in motherhood. Unless you don’t know the other fact side, don’t jump into it. People never discuss the other side of motherhood, they think it might scare us and never let us take that step. But wouldn’t it be easier for us if we knew things so that we can prepare ourselves??? But in this growing era, celebrities have come forward to talk about this like Kristen Bell, not to scare us but to make us ready. After being a mother, your vagina is never going back to the old one. Its just like the myth of virginity: once lost never going to come back. Worst case is Episiotmy, Caesarean. One lost sleep, babies crying, pooping, smell of poop, cleaning poop, when you have to go pee but you have to take care of baby- loss of basic human rights. Your body is never going back to the old one. None of your clothes fits anymore after maternity. Your nipple gets swollen from breast feeding and leak if you get emotional, which is embarrassing in public. One might have a good and supportive husband but he is not going to go through all this, its only you. I know all this as I have seen my sister-in-law going through all this and I helped her as much as possible. So, what actually women should learn is to accept that: its ok to ask for help, its ok if your house isn’t clean most of the times, its ok if there wasn’t good dinner made, its ok if your kitchen is dirty, its ok if there are dishes to do, its just ok if you feel that your IQ is dropping down, its ok to feel low. Remind yourself that its just a phase of life and its going to pass.

What can be in our hand is to not give up on our carrier. I know it’s a contrasting statement, but think about it for a while. Most mothers give up their carrier in order to raise their child, as the child grows, goes college, gets busy in its own life, gets married. What are you left with??? Regrets, that you dropped your carrier and now everyone’s busy in their own life, even your husband has a job and your just left with a nagging housewife and a monster mother-in-law. You don’t want to see this coming right. Nobody wants that to happen. So, find a balance between your child and your carrier. Or to those who feel its too late now, its never late you can always start again, just don’t give up. And for those who are nowhere near of being a mother, waiting for good life partner, waiting to be financially independent, just think about all these things. And don’t worry if you don’t find a good partner, this technologically world has found solutions. But just don’t give up on being a mother because remember that you have the ability and opportunity to be a creator, don’t just waste it.